No Suit, No Tie, Get Nervous: Life at the Office

He strolled into the office building five minutes early Monday morning. The confident and capable man with the hat and briefcase entered and rode the mirror-walled elevator to the fifth floor, home of Miller Stapler Co. Examining himself in the mirrors, he was proud of the man he’d become; diligent, compassionate, both strong and sensitive, and with a decent build. With an earnest grin on his face, the nudist exited the elevator, found his desk, and set to work on the account management routine.

The office supply business was not, in the the nudist’s opinion, his calling, but he was by all accounts virtuosic in his craft. By 10:15, the nudist had closed the Robinson Sports Equipment deal, ending a month-long saga. The nudist was pleased, but wasted not a minute on celebration. Without the help of the modest nudist, the news reached the office manager. The usually thankless work elicited a letter of congratulations from the manager, delivered to the nudist via an intern. The manager would have himself delivered the note, but he was a strict clothes-wearer and did not mingle with those not of his ilk. Not yet familiar with the office staff, the callow intern, stunned, dropped the letter at its recipient’s sandal-strapped feet.

“Thank you and congratulations,” the letter read.

There was a post-script, as well. It mentioned something about the manager wishing he could take the employee out for dinner, but hoping he would settle for a small raise, instead. “You know how it is,” read the final line. The nudist sighed and reclined in his leather office chair, readjusting himself so as to release his sticky skin from the cowhide. His coworkers often complained of the unsettling sound caused by the skin-to-leather contact, and he once found his leather chair replaced by a cloth-backed seat from the building’s lobby. He quickly retrieved his former stool and replaced it.

The nudist was the company’s best-kept secret, and the employees at Miller Stapler Co. would have preferred the secret remain better kept. Dan, the human resources representative, walked into the break room and found himself alone with the nudist, who was enjoying his sack lunch within the time allotted for lunch break.

The nudist looked up at Dan and, excited about the prospect of human interaction, began to smile and made contact. “Hey, Dan! Workin’ hard, or hardly workin’, eh?” said the nudist with a chuckle.

“Heh. Oh, hey, Keith,” said Dan, who poured his coffee quickly and started to turn his back on the nudist. In his periphery, Dan inadvertently noticed that Keith was, in fact, working a little harder than most. Dan shuddered, and when he completed his rotation, Keith turned a deep shade of embarrassed. Keith knew Dan held reservations about hiring him, and Keith aimed only to prove himself a worthy employee. An incident caused by nature and nerves would be the end of that potential friendship. The nudist wished that would have been the first time. The life of a nudist with a responsive pulse…